Emma Watson Pussy
Books:
Anna Karenina
War And Peace
|
troubles me. A wonderful boy, but I am
dreadfully afraid for him. It would be good for him to have
companions."
"Well it wont be for long. Next summer Ill take him to
Petersburg," said Nicholas. "Yes, Pierre always was a dreamer and
always will be," he continued, returning to the talk in the study
which had evidently disturbed him. "Well, what business is it of
mine what goes on there--whether Arakcheev is bad, and all that?
What business was it of mine when I married and was so deep in debt
that I was threatened with prison, and had a mother who could not
see or understand it? And then there are you and the children and
our affairs. Is it for my own pleasure that I am at the farm or in the
office from morning to night? No, but I know I must work to comfort my
mother, to repay you, and not to leave the children such beggars as
I was."
Countess Mary wanted to tell him that man does not live by bread
alone and that he attached too much importance to these matters. But
she knew she must not say this and that it would be useless to do
so. She only took his hand and kissed it. He took this as a sign of
approval and a confirmation of his thoughts, and after a few
minutes reflection continued to think aloud.
"You know, Mary, today Elias Mitrofanych" (this was his overseer)
"came back from the Tambov estate and told me they are already
offering eighty thousand rubles for the forest."
And with an eager face Nicholas began to speak of the possibility of
repurchasing Otradnoe before long, and added: "Another ten years of
life and I shall leave the children... in an excellent position."
Countess Mary listened to her husband and understood all that he
told her. She knew that when he thought aloud in this way he would
sometimes ask her what he had been saying, and be vexed if he
noticed that she had been thinking about something else. But she had
to force herself to attend, for what he was saying did not interest
her at all. She looked at him and did not think, but felt, about
something different. She felt a submissive tender love for this man
who would never understand all that she understood, and this seemed to
make her love for him still stronger and added a touch of passionate
tenderness. Besides this feeling which absorbed her altogether and
hindered her from following the details of her husbands plans,
thoughts that had no connection with what he was saying flitted
through her mind. She thought of her nephew. Her husbands account
of the boys agitation while Pierre was speaking struck her
forcibly, and various traits of his gentle, sensitive character
recurred to her mind; and while thinking of her nephew she thought
also of her own children. She did not compare them with him, but
compared her feeling for them with her feeling for him, and felt
with regret that there was something lacking in her feeling for
young Nicholas.
Sometimes it seemed to her that this difference arose from the
difference in their ages, but she felt herself to blame toward him and
promised in her heart to do better and to accomplish the
impossible--in this life to love her husband, her children, little
Nicholas, and all her neighbors, as Christ loved mankind. Countess
Marys soul always strove toward the infinite, the eternal, and the
absolute, and could therefore never be at peace. A stern expression of
the lofty, secret suffering of a soul burdened by the body appeared on
her face. Nicholas gazed at her. "O God! What will become of us if she
dies, as I always fear when her face is like that?" thought he, and
placing himself before the icon he began to say his evening prayers.
CHAPTER XVI
Natasha and Pierre, left alone, also began to talk as only a husband
and wife can talk, that is, with extraordinary clearness and rapidity,
understanding and expressing each others thoughts in ways contrary to
all rules of logic, without premises, deductions, or conclusions, and
in a quite peculiar way. Natasha was so used to this kind of talk with
her husband that for her it was the surest sign of something being
wrong between them if Pierre followed a line of logical reasoning.
When he began proving anything, or talking argumentatively and calmly
and she, led on by his example, began to do the same, she knew that
they were
War And Peace page 702 War And Peace page 704
|
