Emma Watson Pussy
War And Peace
Pierre, in a childlike,
hesitating voice. "I thank you. I agree with all you have said. But do
not suppose me to be so bad. With my whole soul I wish to be what
you would have me be, but I have never had help from anyone.... But it
is I, above all, who am to blame for everything. Help me, teach me,
and perhaps I may..."
Pierre could not go on. He gulped and turned away.
The Mason remained silent for a long time, evidently considering.
"Help comes from God alone," he said, "but such measure of help as
our Order can bestow it will render you, my dear sir. You are going to
Petersburg. Hand this to Count Willarski" (he took out his notebook
and wrote a few words on a large sheet of paper folded in four).
"Allow me to give you a piece of advice. When you reach the capital,
first of all devote some time to solitude and self-examination and
do not resume your former way of life. And now I wish you a good
journey, my dear sir," he added, seeing that his servant had
entered... "and success."
The traveler was Joseph Alexeevich Bazdeev, as Pierre saw from the
postmasters book. Bazdeev had been one of the best-known Freemasons
and Martinists, even in Novikovs time. For a long while after he
had gone, Pierre did not go to bed or order horses but paced up and
down the room, pondering over his vicious past, and with a rapturous
sense of beginning anew pictured to himself the blissful,
irreproachable, virtuous future that seemed to him so easy. It
seemed to him that he had been vicious only because he had somehow
forgotten how good it is to be virtuous. Not a trace of his former
doubts remained in his soul. He firmly believed in the possibility
of the brotherhood of men united in the aim of supporting one
another in the path of virtue, and that is how Freemasonry presented
itself to him.
On reaching Petersburg Pierre did not let anyone know of his
arrival, he went nowhere and spent whole days in reading Thomas a
Kempis, whose book had been sent him by someone unknown. One thing
he continually realized as he read that book: the joy, hitherto
unknown to him, of believing in the possibility of attaining
perfection, and in the possibility of active brotherly love among men,
which Joseph Alexeevich had revealed to him. A week after his arrival,
the young Polish count, Willarski, whom Pierre had known slightly in
Petersburg society, came into his room one evening in the official and
ceremonious manner in which Dolokhovs second had called on him,
and, having closed the door behind him and satisfied himself that
there was nobody else in the room, addressed Pierre.
"I have come to you with a message and an offer, Count," he said
without sitting down. "A person of very high standing in our
Brotherhood has made application for you to be received into our Order
before the usual term and has proposed to me to be your sponsor. I
consider it a sacred duty to fulfill that persons wishes. Do you wish
to enter the Brotherhood of Freemasons under my sponsorship?"
The cold, austere tone of this man, whom he had almost always
before met at balls, amiably smiling in the society of the most
brilliant women, surprised Pierre.
"Yes, I do wish it," said he.
Willarski bowed his head.
"One more question, Count," he said, "which I beg you to answer in all
sincerity--not as a future Mason but as an honest man: have you
renounced your former convictions--do you believe in God?"
"Yes... yes, I believe in God," he said.
"In that case..." began Willarski, but Pierre interrupted him.
"Yes, I do believe in God," he repeated.
"In that case we can go," said Willarski. "My carriage is at your
Willarski was silent throughout the drive. To Pierres inquiries
as to what he must do and how he should answer, Willarski only replied
that brothers more worthy than he would test him and that Pierre had
only to tell the truth.
Having entered the courtyard of a large house where the Lodge had
its headquarters, and having ascended a dark staircase, they entered a
small well-lit anteroom where they took off their cloaks without the
aid of a servant. From there they passed into another room. A man in
strange attire appeared at the door. Willarski, stepping toward him,
said something to him in French in an undertone and then went up to
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