Emma Watson Pussy
War And Peace
one is to interfere with his
arrangements--leads his division to the decisive point, and gains the
victory alone. "But death and suffering?" suggested another voice.
Prince Andrew, however, did not answer that voice and went on dreaming
of his triumphs. The dispositions for the next battle are planned by
him alone. Nominally he is only an adjutant on Kutuzovs staff, but he
does everything alone. The next battle is won by him alone. Kutuzov is
removed and he is appointed... "Well and then?" asked the other voice.
"If before that you are not ten times wounded, killed, or betrayed,
well... what then?..." "Well then," Prince Andrew answered himself, "I
dont know what will happen and dont want to know, and cant, but if
I want this--want glory, want to be known to men, want to be loved by
them, it is not my fault that I want it and want nothing but that and
live only for that. Yes, for that alone! I shall never tell anyone,
but, oh God! what am I to do if I love nothing but fame and mens
esteem? Death, wounds, the loss of family--I fear nothing. And
precious and dear as many persons are to me--father, sister,
wife--those dearest to me--yet dreadful and unnatural as it seems, I
would give them all at once for a moment of glory, of triumph over
men, of love from men I dont know and never shall know, for the love
of these men here," he thought, as he listened to voices in Kutuzovs
courtyard. The voices were those of the orderlies who were packing up;
one voice, probably a coachmans, was teasing Kutuzovs old cook whom
Prince Andrew knew, and who was called Tit. He was saying, "Tit, I
"Well?" returned the old man.
"Go, Tit, thresh a bit!" said the wag.
"Oh, go to the devil!" called out a voice, drowned by the laughter
of the orderlies and servants.
"All the same, I love and value nothing but triumph over them all, I
value this mystic power and glory that is floating here above me in
That same night, Rostov was with a platoon on skirmishing duty in
front of Bagrations detachment. His hussars were placed along the
line in couples and he himself rode along the line trying to master
the sleepiness that kept coming over him. An enormous space, with
our armys campfires dimly glowing in the fog, could be seen behind
him; in front of him was misty darkness. Rostov could see nothing,
peer as he would into that foggy distance: now something gleamed gray,
now there was something black, now little lights seemed to glimmer
where the enemy ought to be, now he fancied it was only something in
his own eyes. His eyes kept closing, and in his fancy appeared--now
the Emperor, now Denisov, and now Moscow memories--and he again
hurriedly opened his eyes and saw close before him the head and ears
of the horse he was riding, and sometimes, when he came within six
paces of them, the black figures of hussars, but in the distance was
still the same misty darkness. "Why not?... It might easily happen,"
thought Rostov, "that the Emperor will meet me and give me an order as
he would to any other officer; hell say: Go and find out whats
there. There are many stories of his getting to know an officer in
just such a chance way and attaching him to himself! What if he gave
me a place near him? Oh, how I would guard him, how I would tell him
the truth, how I would unmask his deceivers!" And in order to
realize vividly his love devotion to the sovereign, Rostov pictured to
himself an enemy or a deceitful German, whom he would not only kill
with pleasure but whom he would slap in the face before the Emperor.
Suddenly a distant shout aroused him. He started and opened his eyes.
"Where am I? Oh yes, in the skirmishing line... pass and
watchword--shaft, Olmutz. What a nuisance that our squadron will be in
reserve tomorrow," he thought. "Ill ask leave to go to the front,
this may be my only chance of seeing the Emperor. It wont be long now
before I am off duty. Ill take another turn and when I get back
Ill go to the general and ask him." He readjusted himself in the
saddle and touched up his horse to ride once more round his hussars.
It seemed to him that it was getting lighter. To
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