Emma Watson Pussy
Books:
Anna Karenina
War And Peace
|
he
experienced a feeling such as a man might have, returning home
and finding his own house locked up. "But perhaps the key may
yet be found," thought Alexey Alexandrovitch.
"I want to warn you," he said in a low voice, "that through
thoughtlessness and lack of caution you may cause yourself to be
talked about in society. Your too animated conversation this
evening with Count Vronsky" (he enunciated the name firmly and
with deliberate emphasis) "attracted attention."
He talked and looked at her laughing eyes, which frightened him
now with their impenetrable look, and, as he talked, he felt all
the uselessness and idleness of his words.
"Youre always like that," she answered, as though completely
misapprehending him, and of all he had said only taking in the
last phrase. "One time you dont like my being dull, and another
time you dont like my being lively. I wasnt dull. Does that
offend you?"
Alexey Alexandrovitch shivered, and bent his hands to make the
joints crack.
"Oh, please, dont do that, I do so dislike it," she said.
"Anna, is this you?" said Alexey Alexandrovitch, quietly making
an effort over himself, and restraining the motion of his
fingers.
"But what is it all about?" she said, with such genuine and droll
wonder. "What do you want of me?"
Alexey Alexandrovitch paused, and rubbed his forehead and his
eyes. He saw that instead of doing as he had intended--that is
to say, warning his wife against a mistake in the eyes of the
world--he had unconsciously become agitated over what was the
affair of her conscience, and was struggling against the barrier
he fancied between them.
"This is what I meant to say to you," he went on coldly and
composedly, "and I beg you to listen to it. I consider jealousy,
as you know, a humiliating and degrading feeling, and I shall
never allow myself to be influenced by it; but there are certain
rules of decorum which cannot be disregarded with impunity. This
evening it was not I observed it, but judging by the impression
made on the company, everyone observed that your conduct and
deportment were not altogether what could be desired."
"I positively dont understand," said Anna, shrugging her
shoulders--"He doesnt care," she thought. "But other people
noticed it, and thats what upsets him."--"Youre not well,
Alexey Alexandrovitch," she added, and she got up, and would have
gone towards the door; but he moved forward as though he would
stop her.
His face was ugly and forbidding, as Anna had never seen him.
She stopped, and bending her head back and on one side, began
with her rapid hand taking out her hairpins.
"Well, Im listening to whats to come," she said, calmly and
ironically; "and indeed I listen with interest, for I should
like to understand whats the matter."
She spoke, and marveled at the confident, calm, and natural tone
in which she was speaking, and the choice of the words she used.
"To enter into all the details of your feelings I have no right,
and besides, I regard that as useless and even harmful," began
Alexey Alexandrovitch. "Ferreting in ones soul, one often
ferrets out something that might have lain there unnoticed. Your
feelings are an affair of your own conscience; but I am in duty
bound to you, to myself, and to God, to point out to you your
duties. Our life has been joined, not by man, but by God. That
union can only be severed by a crime, and a crime of that nature
brings its own chastisement."
"I dont understand a word. And, oh dear! how sleepy I am,
unluckily," she said, rapidly passing her hand through her hair,
feeling for the remaining hairpins.
"Anna, for Gods sake dont speak like that!" he said gently.
"Perhaps I am mistaken, but believe me, what I say, I say as much
for myself as for you. I am your husband, and I love you."
For an instant her face fell, and the mocking gleam in her eyes
died away; but the word love threw her into revolt again. She
thought: "Love? Can he love? If he hadnt heard there was such
a thing as love, he would never have used the word. He doesnt
even know what love is."
"Alexey Alexandrovitch, really I dont understand," she said.
"Define what it is you find..."
"Pardon, let me say all I have to say. I love you. But I am not
speaking of myself; the most
Anna Karenina page 82 Anna Karenina page 84
|