Emma Watson Pussy
Books:
Anna Karenina
War And Peace
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one want to go to bed!" said Stepan Arkadyevitch,
who, after drinking several glasses of wine at supper, was now in
his most charming and sentimental humor. "Look, Kitty," he said,
pointing to the moon, which had just risen behind the lime trees
--"how exquisite! Veslovsky, this is the time for a serenade.
You know, he has a splendid voice; we practiced songs together
along the road. He has brought some lovely songs with him, two
new ones. Varvara Andreevna and he must sing some duets."
When the party had broken up, Stepan Arkadyevitch walked a long
while about the avenue with Veslovsky; their voices could be
heard singing one of the new songs.
Levin hearing these voices sat scowling in an easy-chair in his
wifes bedroom, and maintained an obstinate silence when she
asked him what was wrong. But when at last with a timid glance
she hazarded the question: "Was there perhaps something you
disliked about Veslovsky?"--it all burst out, and he told her
all. He was humiliated himself at what he was saying, and that
exasperated him all the more.
He stood facing her with his eyes glittering menacingly under his
scowling brows, and he squeezed his strong arms across his chest,
as though he were straining every nerve to hold himself in. The
expression of his face would have been grim, and even cruel, if
it had not at the same time had a look of suffering which touched
her. His jaws were twitching, and his voice kept breaking.
"You must understand that Im not jealous, thats a nasty word.
I cant be jealous, and believe that.... I cant say what I
feel, but this is awful.... Im not jealous, but Im wounded,
humiliated that anybody dare think, that anybody dare look at
you with eyes like that."
"Eyes like what?" said Kitty, trying as conscientiously as
possible to recall every word and gesture of that evening and
every shade implied in them.
At the very bottom of her heart she did think there had been
something precisely at the moment when he had crossed over after
her to the other end of the table; but she dared not own it even
to herself, and would have been even more unable to bring herself
to say so to him, and so increase his suffering.
"And what can there possibly be attractive about me as I am
now?..."
"Ah!" he cried, clutching at his head, "you shouldnt say
that!... If you had been attractive then..."
"Oh, no, Kostya, oh, wait a minute, oh, do listen!" she said,
looking at him with an expression of pained commiseration. "Why,
what can you be thinking about! When for me theres no one in
the world, no one, no one!... Would you like me never to see
anyone?"
For the first minute she had been offended at his jealousy; she
was angry that the slightest amusement, even the most innocent,
should be forbidden her; but now she would readily have
sacrificed, not merely such trifles, but everything, for his
peace of mind, to save him from the agony he was suffering.
"You must understand the horror and comedy of my position," he
went on in a desperate whisper; "that hes in my house, that hes
done nothing improper positively except his free and easy airs
and the way he sits on his legs. He thinks its the best
possible form, and so Im obliged to be civil to him."
"But, Kostya, youre exaggerating," said Kitty, at the bottom of
her heart rejoicing at the depth of his love for her, shown now
in his jealousy.
"The most awful part of it all is that youre just as you always
are, and especially now when to me youre something sacred, and
were so happy, so particularly happy--and all of a sudden a
little wretch.... Hes not a little wretch; why should I abuse
him? I have nothing to do with him. But why should my, and
your, happiness..."
"Do you know, I understand now what its all come from," Kitty
was beginning.
"Well, what? what?"
"I saw how you looked while we were talking at supper."
"Well, well!" Levin said in dismay.
She told him what they had been talking about. And as she told
him, she was breathless with emotion. Levin was silent for a
space, then he scanned her pale and distressed face, and suddenly
he clutched at his head.
"Katya, Ive been worrying you! Darling, forgive me! Its
madness! Katya,
Anna Karenina page 328 Anna Karenina page 330
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