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Anna Karenina 208

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Anna Karenina

War And Peace

it." She held the work in her hands, but did not crochet, and looked at him with strange, shining, and hostile eyes. "This morning Liza came to see me--theyre not afraid to call on me, in spite of the Countess Lidia Ivanovna," she put in--"and she told me about your Athenian evening. How loathsome!" "I was just going to say..." She interrupted him. "It was that Therese you used to know?" "I was just saying..." "How disgusting you are, you men! How is it you cant understand that a woman can never forget that," she said, getting more and more angry, and so letting him see the cause of her irritation, "especially a woman who cannot know your life? What do I know? What have I ever known?" she said, "what you tell me. And how do I know whether you tell me the truth?..." "Anna, you hurt me. Dont you trust me? Havent I told you that I havent a thought I wouldnt lay bare to you?" "Yes, yes," she said, evidently trying to suppress her jealous thoughts. "But if only you knew how wretched I am! I believe you, I believe you.... What were you saying?" But he could not at once recall what he had been going to say. These fits of jealousy, which of late had been more and more frequent with her, horrified him, and however much he tried to disguise the fact, made him feel cold to her, although he knew the cause of her jealousy was her love for him. How often he had told himself that her love was happiness; and now she loved him as a woman can love when love has outweighed for her all the good things of life--and he was much further from happiness than when he had followed her from Moscow. Then he had thought himself unhappy, but happiness was before him; now he felt that the best happiness was already left behind. She was utterly unlike what she had been when he first saw her. Both morally and physically she had changed for the worse. She had broadened out all over, and in her face at the time when she was speaking of the actress there was an evil expression of hatred that distorted it. He looked at her as a man looks at a faded flower he has gathered, with difficulty recognizing in it the beauty for which he picked and ruined it. And in spite of this he felt that then, when his love was stronger, he could, if he had greatly wished it, have torn that love out of his heart; but now, when as at that moment it seemed to him he felt no love for her, he knew that what bound him to her could not be broken. "Well, well, what was it you were going to say about the prince? I have driven away the fiend," she added. The fiend was the name they had given her jealousy. "What did you begin to tell me about the prince? Why did you find it so tiresome?" "Oh, it was intolerable!" he said, trying to pick up the thread of his interrupted thought. "He does not improve on closer acquaintance. If you want him defined, here he is: a prime, well-fed beast such as takes medals at the cattle shows, and nothing more," he said, with a tone of vexation that interested her. "No; how so?" she replied. "Hes seen a great deal, anyway; hes cultured?" "Its an utterly different culture--their culture. Hes cultivated, one sees, simply to be able to despise culture, as they despise everything but animal pleasures." "But dont you all care for these animal pleasures?" she said, and again he noticed a dark look in her eyes that avoided him. "How is it youre defending him?" he said, smiling. "Im not defending him, its nothing to me; but I imagine, if you had not cared for those pleasures yourself, you might have got out of them. But if it affords you satisfaction to gaze at Therese in the attire of Eve..." "Again, the devil again," Vronsky said, taking the hand she had laid on the table and kissing it. "Yes; but I cant help it. You dont know what I have suffered waiting for you. I believe Im not jealous. Im not jealous: I believe you when youre here; but when youre away somewhere leading your life, so incomprehensible

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